The Three Rules of Writing


You are a person who enjoys writing?  … To the point where you actually do it for pleasure???


Well, if you DO enjoy writing, and you’ve told people that, it’s my guess that some of them will be giving you advice about it.

Yes? No? Are people giving you advice about writing? Tell me if I get things wrong.

And maybe some of these people sound like they know what they’re talking about.


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And some of the things they tell you are going to be helpful .

But a lot of them are going to be just whah? and … mehhh …

and some of them are going to be arrrrgggghhh!!!

And most of the time, like all advice, it’s going to be more like … Yep. Yep. Yep … What?

What’s the most ridiculous piece of advice you’ve ever been given about writing?  Share it with us. 

 An-y-w-a-y, here’s the thing.

‘There are only three rules for writing …. Unfortunately no-one knows what they are.’ 

W Somerset Maugham **

Now Somerset (that’s a name??) was talking about writing novels, but I think it applies to writing just about anything.

Here’s a picture of him.

                    W Somerset Maugham


 Doesn’t look as if his ideas made him happy, does it?


Sorry. Where were we? Oh yeah …

No one knows what the rules are!!!

So I guess I can’t help you. OK. It’s been nice and see you later …  No. no-o-o-o. Herrr  herrr. Hila-a-air-rious. Start again …

No one knows what the rules are!!!

But of course you knew that the minute you read the heading.

Three rules for writing? That’s just stupid.

The title is ironic. It’s beyond ironic. Not sarcastic, exactly – not as nasty as that. It’s … I can’t think of a word for it

(and no, you’re right, that IS NOT a good look for a writer).

Three Rules for Writing a Novel?

It’s a game. It’s a cruel trick.

 Well, it’s a trick. It wasn’t meant to be cruel.

sheepish smile cropped

But if this is a game, then at least we’re in it together. Because you knew before you got here, deep in your heart, that finding rules for writing would be impossible.

And you’ve come here anyway.

Maybe you came out of curiosity, to see what kind of nonsense you would find.



Well, that nonsense … that would be me. 

 Reese's Smile by Donnie Ray Jones on Flickr


No one knows the rules for writing


(and hands up who saw that coming)

BUT  there are people who’ve done it before.

Just look around you. There is writing e-e-e-v-e-r-ywhere.

Some people have done quite a lot of it.


And maybe it does help if they look back at all the mistakes they made,

and the things that worked and the things that didn’t work,

and if they think up things that they wished they had known at the beginning

and they can tell all that to younger writers.

(And when I say ‘they’, obviously, I mean ‘me’.)

Not just me. No no no. N-o-o-o. Noooo. There are many  many other people who can help. And, honestly, go to them all.

I just thought maybe I could be one of them.

So in this blog I’ll be putting down some thoughts for people who like writing. There is even some stuff for people who might want to BE writers. (It’s called ‘Walk away. Walk away now’ so what does that tell you?)

Look, these pages might help you and they might not.

But I hope they do.       cropped-img_0860-copy1.jpg

*Thanks to these people for the images

**Did he really say this? A lot of people say he did. Other people say maybe not. Search the net to see what you think.